‘If you can keep your head when all around you have lost theirs, then you probably haven’t understood the seriousness of the situation.’ – David Brent in The Office
In the world of ubiquitous mission statements, brand values, marketing slogans, strategic directions and corporate goals, it is easy to become cynical about the latest expression of good intent from organisations.
Carey is like many schools in that we publicly and proudly express the attributes that we consider to be fundamentally worthwhile. Our school’s values are Care, Respect and Growth, and it is the second of these that is our theme for 2025. Teachers encourage our students to embody respect in their daily lives at School but, as with many concepts, how to actually live this out is not necessarily straightforward. To this end, there is an approach that I find helpful as a way of enacting respect: unconditional positive regard.
Unconditional positive regard is by no means a new concept. At Carey, it was brought into focus in recent years for staff who completed professional development in the Berry Street Education Model, which featured several strategies for teachers to draw on to support students. Unconditional positive regard means assuming the best intentions on the part of the person you’re dealing with. It’s about good faith interactions. It was put to staff as a way of framing dealings with challenging students in particular, but applies to all staff–student interactions.
Like many useful ideas, this one extends beyond student–teacher relationships too. Its value as a concept extends to all members of the School community interacting with one another – students, staff and parents. The assumption of best intentions goes a long way toward fostering respect regardless of the situation and by reframing our approach to difficult situations, this can be especially valuable. It applies to colleagues working through differences of opinion on complex projects, to students in a class discussion of a contentious topic and to interactions between parents and staff.
We are well aware that parents want the best for their children, and we Carey teachers want the best for our students too. Naturally, in an organisation of our size, there will be differing views as to how to achieve what is best for the young people in our care. But surely, taking as a starting point that we all have good intentions is the best way forward.
The first month of school can be a pretty hectic time at Carey. In my role, I field daily queries from Middle School parents, staff and students. It is heartening that so many of these conversations feature unconditional positive regard as a starting condition and such an approach frequently leads to positive outcomes. It serves as a reminder that, in the busyness of our everyday lives, it is worthwhile to assume the best of everyone.
David Martin
Deputy Head of Middle School – Student Learning
