This week, I found myself in planning meetings for our Year 12 Valedictory Celebration Week. As always, these conversations are both practical and reflective, yet full of energy, with staff working together to celebrate our students as they mark the end of a significant chapter in their lives at Carey.
These meetings were a reminder that very soon, perhaps sooner than both our students and their parents feel ready for, our Year 12s will begin stepping into the world beyond school.
Moments like this naturally prompt reflection on what our students carry with them as they leave us, and what they still need from the adults who have guided them.
In 2022, I was invited to contribute, through interview, to Madonna King’s book L Platers, which draws on the voices of senior school-aged young people across Australia. One of the insights that has stayed with me from this work is that our young people want our help, but they don’t want to be just like us.
This tension is not a problem to solve; it is the work of adolescence.
Our students are navigating extraordinary complexity. They are working through identity, relationships and a rapidly evolving digital landscape that defines their generation, much as earlier generations navigated the emerging worlds of their time, while also managing continuing pressures around wellbeing and mental health. At the same time, they are striving to become themselves.
This independence is an important part of their development, and shouldn’t be seen as a rejection.
This is where the work of Brené Brown offers a helpful lens for both families and schools. In Strong Ground, she argues that in times of complexity, individuals and organisations need to be grounded in clear values, strong relationships and disciplined practice. Adaptability, she suggests, is built on structure. For our young people, family and school together form that ‘strong ground’.
When we create school and family environments that are predictable, values-led and connected, we give our children and young people the confidence to explore who they are. When we listen seriously, seek diverse perspectives and balance care with accountability, we model the capabilities they will need in adult life.
In this context, our role shifts. We are not shaping young people in our own image, nor are we stepping back completely. We are doing something more demanding: holding steady.
We provide the foundation from which young people can take risks, make mistakes and return when they need guidance. We build cultures, both at home and at school, where young people know they are known, supported and expected to grow.
Our young people may not want to be like us, but they do want us beside them. And when we offer strong ground, they are far more likely to seek it.
Kellie Lyneham
Deputy Principal – Quality and Innovation
