When was the last time you did absolutely nothing? Not scrolling through your phone while waiting for a coffee. Not checking emails between meetings. Not listening to a podcast while walking the dog. Just sitting, thinking, observing or perhaps feeling a little bored.
For many of us, these moments have become increasingly elusive. Technology has made it remarkably easy to fill every gap in our day with stimulation. And while we worry about how much time our children spend on screens, perhaps we should consider what our own habits are teaching them.
Boredom has acquired a bad reputation, as though every moment of idleness is a problem to be solved. Yet research suggests that when our attention turns away from the demands of the outside world, our minds often remain remarkably active. Neuroscientist Jessica Andrews-Hanna and colleagues (2010) have shown how periods of internally directed thought are associated with remembering past experiences, imagining future possibilities and reflecting on our lives. These moments aren't necessarily wasted time. They remind us that being unoccupied is not the same as being mentally inactive, and that we needn't fill every quiet moment with entertainment.
Consider a family waiting at a restaurant. Within minutes, phones emerge. Adults check messages, children watch videos and an ordinary moment of inactivity disappears, and perhaps an opportunity for connection too. Researchers Brandon McDaniel and Jenny Radesky (2018) explored what they called technoference: the everyday interruptions technology introduces into family interactions. Their study of 170 families found associations between these interruptions and children's behavioural difficulties. While the findings don't establish causation, corollaries can sometimes point us towards important questions – in this case, the attention we give one another.
Children notice our habits. Asking them to put their phones away while we continue checking ours sends a rather contradictory message, and the justification of our email taking precedence over their own notifications misunderstands the premise.
Digital tools offer extraordinary opportunities for learning, creativity and connection. The challenge arises when reaching for a device becomes our automatic response to every quiet moment. Perhaps we could occasionally leave our phones behind on a walk (a challenge I fail at myself), resist filling every car journey with entertainment, or allow children to navigate the familiar declaration, ‘I'm bored’, without immediately providing a solution. These aren't arguments for manufacturing boredom or abandoning technology, but rather, they are invitations to become more deliberate about how we spend our attention.
In a world where entertainment is always within reach, one of the most valuable things we can model for young people is that not every moment needs to be filled.
And perhaps that lesson begins with us.
Dr Karl Sebire
Executive Director – Strategy and Partnerships
